spring cleaning 101 (more like 10.0)

Nothing beats that feeling when you realise it's 4pm and the sun is still shining! Hello Spring, you've been missed... terribly.

Goodbye winter bugs, cold mornings, icy pavements and fattening snacks curled up on the sofa. I think I hibernated so well this past winter that I may have made an indentation of my arse into the sofa.

I welcome the ease that comes with going about my day in the warmer, sunnier weather. There's just something about it that makes you feel alive.  No more stale smelling blankets or thick wooly socks that suffocate your toes.

Oh yes, I'm ready for springtime. And along with springtime comes that thing that you should be doing. Spring. Cleaning.

Okay, okay, put the yellow marigolds back in the cleaning basket! The rules have changed. Forget everything you think you know and follow my basic spring cleaning essential tips.

(P.S .... It's not really a 101 on spring cleaning. It's more like a 10.0)

If you're like me and my household, two weeks by a posh pool in the Maldives is never. going. to. happen. We'd be lucky if we managed to fandango a week in Spain.

But what could be more fun than piling everyone into the car and taking the old family caravan 5 minutes down the road to an empty field?  Not much, let me tell you.  

So your first job is to get that vacation booked asap. Organised peeps have already got this covered. It's already booked and their passports are in date too. But ours aren't. In fact, we don't even have passports anymore. We lost them. 

So, if you're vacationing 'Williamson' style, you're doing the caravan holiday and you're going to love it because it's a change of scenery. And at least it beats washing the windows.

Forget clearing out the cupboard under the stairs. Anything lost in there has been long forgotten. 

YOU DON'T NEED WHATEVER IT IS. 

You do need some downtime though and with the sun shining you need a good excuse to be out in the garden (no, put down the garden gloves). 

So pick up a new book - something exciting - because escapism is by far better than tackling the spiders under the stairs.

I'd like to list some clever reference to the guy who discovered space, though Google gave me more than the one option, but needless to say someone DID discover it. 

Don't assume nothing good comes from staring into space. We are creative souls and our ideas don't just come from no-where. It's during our lazy day-dreaming periods that we figure things out. We evaluate life without even knowing we're doing so. 

So before you sort out all of your laundry, spend a good ten minutes of "wasteful" staring at nothing time. You might surprise yourself. Or you might fall asleep out of boredom but either way some self-reflection never hurt anyone. Well, sometimes it does, but it's worth a shot anyway.

I know there's dust behind the curtains but it's okay because instead of wasting time cleaning it, you can just leave the house instead. It's not a permanent solution of course but getting some fresh air, perhaps even a tan in the nice Spring sun is definitely better than spending an afternoon dusting.

Leash little Arthur or pick up Gramps and spend some quality time out of the house. Every day if you want to. If you're feeling particularly strong about avoiding the dust at home, why not pack a tent and camp for the night. Pup would love that! The kids too.

Voila... Dust free (for a little while).

This can benefit you in two ways. 

Spring decorating? Pfft... Taken care of! Set those kiddies loose with some paint and a paint brush and you'll have yourself a one-of-a-kind designer decor job.  

Secondly, it's so much fun. Don't be afraid to get involved. It's the opposite of cleaning, I get that. But digging deeper into your artistic side is somewhat cleansing for the mind. So embrace that messy play and be creative with those kids of yours.

Been stressing about how messy the house is? How the kids bedroom look like a bomb's gone off? Pop to a local (preferably free) museum and see how people really used to live. It was tough. We take our lives now for granted. 

You might see what a real gone-off bomb looks like too and feel 110% better about your own home.

Education trumps housework and there's nothing wrong with taking a moment to think about how lucky you are. Sod the cobwebs.

No kids, no other half, no jobs. You need this. The space and time alone will be like a luxury vacation, for one. 

But the real goal here is the less people at home, the less housework there'll be to do. Hand the kids over to someone you trust for the weekend and send the hubster off on a fishing trip... Or to a concert... Or just anywhere away from the house he'll agree to.

Put those feet up. Today we're working on re-gaining blood flow to the brain and nobody's coming home until at least tomorrow.

This works a little like reverse psychology. See, everybody thinks they know that when you have a party you're suppose to clean the whole entire house. It's what couples do. They clean every inch of the house just so a load of people can come and mess it all up again.

This time, skip the pre-cleaning. As long as you're serving alcohol and party snacks, your guests are happy.

Moments before the party is due to end, have a little sob in the kitchen. When your friends come rushing to your aid, you can tell them how upset you are that nobody has helped to clean up afterwards and you've spent weeks planning this for them all.

Hopefully you invited your OCD friend. We all have one (note: I do not take OCD lightly, being a sufferer myself - although I do have a different form of the illness) because she will lead the clean-up crusade.

If you pulled off the strop well enough, everyone of your guests will have pitched in and helped tidy and clean up. Result? You partied and got the housework done.

When you realise that following all of the above only leads to the gradual decline of the state of your home, it's time to pull the sick card.

"Oh honey, I'm so feverish. Please can you just put the wash load on? Oh, and the dinner needs to be cooked but I'm just so....weak."

Loving husband obliges. Loving husband is the key to getting things back in order. What? It's okay. He doesn't mind. He's not so bad at the washing up.

Hopefully when you re-emerge healthier and over your sickness the house will be all sparkly clean and you can reward hubby later.

So we reach number ten and this one works as a spring clean avoidance as well as maybe even some spring cleaning inspiration.

Virtual world online gaming sites like Second Life get a lot of stick for causing corruption and are often mistaken as dating sites. But the reality is that some of them, such as Second Life, are incredible platforms to be creative.

Now, I'm not saying you should go and get a second life at all. But if you're like me and money's tight and you long to indulge in interior design and home-proudness, there's nothing wrong with using a platform such as a virtual world to explore your creative side.

With Second Life, you can buy a cheap plot of virtual land and either build or buy your dream home. There are hundreds of thousands of options! Take caution though, a second life should never replace your first. Of course there's The Sims too, but your options are limited.

You may even find that after replicating your idea of a perfect home you will feel inspired enough to re-create this in your real life house.

So there you have it. My tips for spring cleaning. If you're looking for more traditional tips, there's always Pinterest *winks*

Happy Spring!